The other day a beautiful, bright, compassionate friend of mine shared something with me. She had met new people the previous evening and had judged herself harshly for not having a proper job, for not being enough. The truth is that none of the people in my tribe have a “proper job” in the masculine “9-5, 5 days a week, working for a boss in an organisation” sort of way. Or if they do, they don’t tend to stay in it for long once we meet! Why? Because the “proper job” is a box. It’s a small square box into which we try to squash all of our magnificence in order to fit in. But here’s the deal. If you are in my tribe of wise, wild, wonderful women then I am afraid my love that you are not here to fit in. You are here to shake things up, turn the box upside down, break it down if you need to. Your role on earth is too large, too magnificent to fit into a “proper Job”. It demands that you follow your path and no-one else’s. That you live as a shining example of how humanity could be if we were brave enough to be vulnerable, compassionate enough to be kind, courageous enough to shine the light into the deepest darkest recesses of our selves so that we can become whole again. This is not just a job, it’s a way of life. The members of my tribe do not stop examining their souls because they are tired or scared or full of sadness and loss – they use these opportunities to go deeper and to emerge refreshed and ready to expand again. They do the same with their partners, their children, their clients and friends. These women are warriors. But they need to remember how to claim their power and how to keep it in a world where a Feminine way of being has been repressed for so long that we have forgotten it even exists.
A wise teacher (check out Alexandra Pope and all her incredible work with Red School) was talking about the archetypal hero’s journey recently. What she said rocked my world and helped me see exactly the work I want to do and the women I want to do it with. She talked about the masculine traditions of accessing the Divine, the death of ego. Long nights alone in the wilderness. Quests with dragons, beasts, minotaurs. Drugs. Years of silent meditation. Yet for women “the death moment comes in an ordinary day. Every month at the start of our period we have an opportunity to say “ah, death, welcome” and to sink into its embrace. We are not men. We are cyclical beings. We change constantly. Our menstrual cycle is a blessing, not a curse. It is a monthly initiation that we experience for 40 or so years. For free. No expensive retreats needed! If we can allow ourselves to sink deeply into the winter (bleed) phase of our cycle we can access states of mind usually only available to the experienced meditator. We can have deep insight about our lives and the direction we wish to take (but no energy yet to take those first steps, for that we need the energy of our inner spring). We know with absolute certainty what is important and what is not. This happens every month! Our task is to slow down, to dream and then in time to act on this deep knowing, this medicine from the soul. It’s our path out of the box society would have us fit in to and out into the wilderness of our own being.
So, my dear friend. Do not despair when you feel you don’t fit. It’s because you don’t. You are too incredible for that. Too brave. You are here to be a pioneer, to change the world, to quote Gandhi “to be the change you wish to see in the world”. It’s a 24 hour a day 365 days a year lifelong commitment. But you are not alone. Step out of the box into the wilderness and there you will find us. Your people. Your tribe. Together we can work miracles. Every one of us is unique. Your “job” here on earth is yours alone. It will make you come alive, it will light you up until you burn with passion and joy. It won’t look quite like anyone else’s because there is no-one on this planet who is quite like you. Welcome. I love you. You are already everything you have ever needed to be. You just need to remember who you truly are.