I can feel it strongly today. The rage. The injustice. The urge to smash the patriarchy. The urge to smash anything really. The glass in my hand would shatter so spectacularly if I were to hurl it at my husband as a representation of all the crap women have to put up with. The spectacular lack of recognition and support in our society for the vital roles of child bearing and child rearing, of feeding and clothing and home making. Not exclusively women’s roles I know, but predominantly still. I want to roar and kick and shout and destroy the old systems. Break them down so that there is space for something new to emerge. Community. Connection. Laughter. Support. Pulling together in times of crisis and of celebration. Permission to truly excel and spread our wings with the gifts we have been given. Permission to shine and to say NO. Menopause demands that I say no a lot. More than I ever have. Yet still it is nowhere near enough, especially with those I love.
Would I be less a woman to admit that I am not a home-maker? That my creativity flows best through my work, through healing and ceremony and holding deep emotion? My fear says yes. She whispers that I would be diminished somehow if I were to admit that these “feminine” roles are not for me. That I would be selfish, subversive. Guilt joins her and whispers about unfit mothers, the negative effect on my beautiful children. I know this isn’t true. My conscious mind, my heart, my womb are all in unison that my path is mine alone and my only mission here on earth is to follow it.
So once again I will pick myself up, channel that rage energy as kundalini through my body and move towards the life I long for. And the way to stay on that path is through committed self care. Through my yoga, meditation and ritual practices. Through movement and journaling and dance. And most of all through sitting in circle with other women whose souls share my longing so that together we can build the new world. What’s that quote google?
Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing
Arundhati Roy
If you’re feeling the full power of rage in your peri- or menopause and would like to explore how to channel it safely in a deeply held, sacred space then you can check out my offerings here. I would be honoured to witness your rage and all aspects of your wild feminine nature as you make this journey.
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